Signs from those lost

I'm Catholic, but not a practicing one per se. I believe in God and all that, mostly because to think that there's nothing else past life is quite depressing.

For those of you who read my blog, you know that my Dad passed over a year and a half ago. It's been rough. But since he's been gone, I've experienced things that are way more than coincidences.

Dear CC Chapman: A Review of Amazing Things Will Happen

Dad and IDear CC,

I read your book titled "Amazing Things Will Happen."

I knew it was going to be one of those self help type of books, but written in a no bullshit way, a style that I myself enjoy and employ in my own writing. I thank you for that. We, as in consultants in digital marketing and people in general, tend to write in big people words to make themselves sound smarter. 

Let's not do that any more. Ever. So again, thank you for that.

Overall, it was well written and reinforced a lot of what's been floating around in my head since I lost my father unexpectedly in February of this year.

After reading the book, this was my reaction (this will make sense to you, but maybe not to others, which is why they should buy the book first, read it and then come back to this post). It's in random order:

A Father's Day Message

Screen Shot 2012 06 16 at 10 28 18 AM

Four months ago, I lost my dad. It was unexpected and every day since, I've missed him more and more. Today is the first Father's Day without him and it sucks. 

But, this post isn't about me. It's about you. It's about those of you out there with kids and who's father is still with us. 

Do me a huge favor today and help me honor my dad. 

Messages to Dad: Father's Day

Hey dad, been a while. I hope you are well wherever you are. It's been nearly four months since you passed and it's not getting any easier. In fact, with each day, the pain is pretty unbearable at times. The loss is equal to a thousand yard, gaping hole in the earth caused by an unexpected meteor.

We celebrated your birthday. We had a First Communion. We had preschool graduation. We've celebrated some many things since you've passed and with each occasion, there was a sense of loss that was heavy on everyone's hearts.

Well, tomorrow is Father's Day. It's the first without you and to be brutally honest, it fucking sucks. Sorry for the crass words, but there's really no other way to describe it.

Messages to Dad: Kayla's First Communion

Hey dad, tomorrow if going to be a bitter sweet day. Kayla makes her First Communion and everyone in the family will be there. It'll be nice to see everyone again and get us all together, but yet again, we'll be reminded of the big loss that's been left with your passing away.

It's been over two months and it still feels like it was yesterday that we were at the hospital, game planning with the doctors about how to get your back on your feet and better. We had no idea that those were the last moments we'd spend with you. 

It's been so hard. There are a slew of moments throughout the day that you creep into my mind. It's nice to be able to call Uncle Louie, play my guitar, listen to Beatles songs, watch you playing guitar on video or look at pictures to keep those memories fresh in my mind. 

Tomorrow, while Kayla receives her First Communion, you'll be with her…closer to her than any one of us. 

Messages to Dad: Bruins Playoffs…Here We Go!


Hey Pops…Bruins started their playoff run today. We are facing the Capitals in the first round. Kelly just scored a game winner in OT. Bruins win game 1. Susie and I are headed to the game on Saturday. I can't wait to go.

I'll admit, when the game was starting tonight, I got pretty choked up. Just not the same watching playoff hockey and knowing that I won't talk to you tomorrow about the game. We did that all the time and I'm going to miss it terribly.

I thank you for hooking me on to the Bruins at an early age. I'm a fan forever because of you and nights like this, as my heart is pumping after an exciting win, all I can do is think of you.

Miss ya.

Messages to Dad: I'm Learning Guitar

Hey pops,

After you passed away, I felt compelled to carry on your memory by playing guitar. I always meant to learn, but never took the iniative to do so. Well, it's been three weeks and I'm strumming along. I'm determined to play Beatles classics and some of the others that you played throughout the years. 

While I never been good as you, I hope that I can at least carry a few tunes and make you proud. 

FYI...this video is from the Donald A. Martelli Memorial Facebook Page.

Messages to Dad: Our First Visit

For my own personal reasons, I'm going to start writing to my father. It's personal, but stuff that I think I can share publicly to help with others. I'm calling it "Messages to Dad." Here's my first message. 
Went to visit you yesterday and it was harder than I thought. Seeing your name on that plaque brought back so many memories, sadness, anger, questions and uncontrollable tears.
Susie and the kids were with me. Kayla left you an Easter message. Jordan helped put flowers in the vase. We said a prayer together as a family. I told you about learning to play guitar and some other stuff that's between you and I.
As were standing there with our thoughts, it was pretty cloudy. As I started talking to you, the sun broke through the clouds and I felt that you were there with us. I couldn't hear you, but you were there. 
It's not getting easier or harder, it's just evidently different and always will be.
I miss you dad. See you later this month on your birthday.