Today I learned that my youngest has idiopathic scoliosis. Her primary care physician noticed it during a physical. She sent us to Children's Hospital in Boston to see an orthopedic specialist. The experience was life altering.
After the initial screening...after the xrays...after the waiting...after the words idiopathic scoliosis were spoken, followed by "brace," my heart sank like the Titanic. I could see my daughter's eyes welling up and I immediately lost my shit.
I'm a pretty healthy guy. Yea, I could shed some pounds, but I'm not a slob. I'm active. At that moment, the helpless feeling that washed over me like an ocean wave in Maine, crushed me. It crushed me like a baby smashes Cheerios against her gums in an attempt to eat it. Crushed me like a sledge hammer against old brick. Crushed me like your first break-up. Crushed me like the 1986 Red Sox.
Devastated. Nothing I could do. Zero. Zilch. No strength. No power. No pure adrenaline was getting us out of this jam. Nada. Zippo.
Not. A. Fucking. Thing.
It was the worst feeling in the world.
We got home, talked to family and friends. That was overwhelming and emotional. We posted to social media to update our friends. That was also overwhelming and emotion.
Now I'm writing this, thinking, what the hell? Why us? Why Whip? What could I have done? Should we have seen this earlier? Is she going to be ok? How are we going to get through this?
Then perspective hit me.
There's much worst happening to other people and other children around the world. This was just a speed bump. It's a different path. That's ok. We'll explore it together as a family and get to the other end of it.
As my buddy said, "...she's going to be so much more prepared for life and adversity as a result. That's the side effect that works in your favor."
He's dead on and knows through experience. Trust me on that.
So yea, idiopathic scoliosis, you can go fuck yourself. You're now up against Jordan aka Whip, who's gonna whip your ass into shape.
Bent not broken.
PS shout out to the people at Children's Hospital. They are amazing and I'm glad we're in their hands during this journey.